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Devouring Horror One Bloody Chunk At A Time….
“The Walking Dead is dead; long live The Walking Dead!”
That seems appropriate. I mean, The Walking Dead IS finally over, but with spinoffs and….
“The Walking Dead is dead; long live The Walking Dead!”
That seems appropriate. I mean, The Walking Dead IS finally over, but with spinoffs and miniseries waiting in the wings, the line of succession to the throne of TV’s most successful stab at horror is clear. So, this universe will soldier on. But this piece of it—the O.G. zombie horror franchise that redefined what genre television could be as it splattered our screens with unprecedented amounts of rotten, bloody viscera and later filled our earholes with gloriously cathartic F-bombs—has finally gotten a machete to the dome.
The Walking Dead premiered on Halloween night of 2010 on AMC. Almost exactly three weeks later Ravenous Monster lurched forth from the primordial ooze of the world wide web and onto your screens. So, it’s been a while. And although The Walking Dead has had its ups and downs, Ravenous Monster, horror TV, and the genre at large were all shaped to one extent or another by this smash hit series.
The biggest mark The Walking Dead will leave in its wake is the mainstreaming of true, explicit horror to the masses via their television sets. It was a proof-of-concept investment that succeeded to an almost unimaginable extent. As a result, it could be reasonably argued that the small screen is the superior medium to deliver large scale, long scope horror stories.
Look at what’s happened in that realm since the Fall of 2010. We’ve gotten American Horror Story, Ash vs Evil Dead, Chucky, The Terror, Penny Dreadful, Teen Wolf, Scream, Let the Right One In, Interview with a Vampire, Bates Motel, Hannibal, Sleepy Hollow, Stranger Things, The Mist, Mindhunter, Mr. Mercedes, NOS4A2, Castle Rock, What We Do in the Shadows, Lovecraft Country, and of course Fear the Walking Dead, The Walking Dead: World Beyond, and Tales of the Walking Dead. And that’s just a small, random sample of the absolute torrent of horror that’s arrived on our television sets since The Walking Dead premiered. No iconic fright franchise or master horror author’s canon was insulated from getting a small screen adaptation.
And it’s not like any of these series were sanitized for the masses. Many of them arrived by way of streamers like Netflix where anything goes, but even most of the shows on network television delivered gore and disturbing imagery that far surpassed that of even the most notorious golden age slasher flicks. The only thing missing was the gratuitous nudity, but if you’re really feeling that void, you have bigger problems than boob-free TV to worry about.
Not all these series were successful or even good, but when there’s this much material, a few duds are neither unexpected nor all that difficult to forgive. In short, The Walking Dead was the catalyst for the most prolific expansion of horror in the history of moving pictures, and that’s been wonderful, warts and all.
The Walking Dead’s importance to the horror genre is clear. But where does it rank based on its own merits? In other words, was it any good?
Well, that’s not a simple answer. I’m a firm believer that the ideal lifespan for a television series is five seasons. The Wire and Breaking Bad are two obvious examples of the ideal. However, examples of shows that overstayed their welcome are even more prolific.
It seems like anything beyond five years tends to be motivated by a show’s money-making ability/obligations and not by competent, compelling storytelling. Successful series often become industries unto themselves in which too many people’s wallets depend on pushing out content until the wheels fall off, and even then, attempts are made to drag the rusted-out carcass a few more feet come hell or highwater. It’s the enduring tale of Art being usurped by Commerce. Such is the case with The Walking Dead.
The first season was a good if not great look at the potential this adaptation had as a legitimately compelling drama set during the zombie apocalypse. It might not seem like it now, but back in 2010, that description was anathema to a sure thing. Season One was essentially a brief and exciting dip of the toe into the murky waters of modern genre TV.
Beginning in Season Two, The Walking Dead hit its stride as a gory and intense ensemble drama. It went about its business in earnest and quickly became can’t-miss viewing, inducing both gags and gossip on Monday mornings around the water coolers of offices the world over.
Impressively, The Walking Dead maintained an unlikely level of quality into its sixth season. Then came Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan). The introduction of this fan favorite bad guy ironically began the show’s descent into a mediocre-at-best morass that eventually saw show runners, major cast members, and even fans jump ship. Remember the five-year rule?
The rise and fall of The Walking Dead is a fascinating artistic and pop cultural story that I’ve had the pleasure to write about at length here over the past decade plus, and I encourage you to go back and take a look at those reviews. But let’s get to the business at hand. What about the end? What about these final eight episodes?
Spoilers ahead!
When we left off, our heroes were hatching a plan to expose the Commonwealth’s dark underbelly and bring its leader Governor Pamela Milton (Laila Robbins) to justice. Governor Milton and the military/police apparatus had been “disappearing” citizens and using them for slave labor as they absorbed smaller communities in an attempt to extend the Commonwealth’s geopolitical reach and power.
As Daryl (Norman Reedus), Maggie (Lauren Cohan), Aaron (Ross Marquand) and Gabriel (Seth Gilliam) met with Negan to come up with a battleplan against the Commonwealth forces, Deputy Governor Lance Hornsby (Lance Hamilton) giddily watched over his troops as they hung Commonwealth banners from the entrances to Hilltop, Alexandria, and Oceanside.
As Episode 17 begins our heroes are still on the lam from Lance’s troops inside a ghost town. They decide to have Negan infiltrate the Commonwealth as a spy. With Daryl’s help, he takes out a cadre of Lance’s soldiers, steals a vehicle, and heads off to the Commonwealth.
When Negan arrives, he divulges his identity to the head of security and secret rebellion sympathizer Mercer (Michael James Shaw) who reunites him with Carol (Melissa McBride). Because an angry, anti-Milton rebellion is already fomenting, some citizens go after the Governor’s son Sebastian (Teo Rapp-Olsson), who deserves all that smoke, incidentally. Governor Milton reluctantly strikes a deal with Carol to find Sebastian and safely deliver him back to her.
Meanwhile, Daryl and the others take out most of Lance’s soldiers before Daryl takes Lance hostage. Carol, Negan, Mercer, and Governor Milton show up just in time and try to deescalate the standoff. Daryl reluctantly frees Lance but not without a parting gift—a large knife through the hand (which I think is available at Amazon—the Commonwealth of the retail world).
With shifting circumstances, our heroes are forced to adjust tactics. Governor Milton’s assistant Max (Margot Bingham)—whom I should remind you is not only Mercer’s sister, but also a spy for the good guys, the lover of our favorite weird nerd Eugene (Josh McDermitt), and the catalyst for our heroes’ encounter with the Commonwealth in the first place—secretly records Sabastian ranting about the citizens of the Commonwealth and his mother’s true agenda. Max and Eugene plan to play the recording over the PA system during a planned speech by Sabastian at an anniversary celebration for the Commonwealth where most of its citizens are expected to be in attendance.
While the celebration is gearing up, the now incarcerated Lance makes a move from within his cell, having his allies murder two janitors, thus creating a pair of Walkers to roam the streets during the pending revelry. As Sebastian takes the stage, Eugene heads to the sound board and plays the secret recording. Upon hearing the truth, the crowd is incensed while the Walkers shamble among the commotion. Chaos ensues.
Sabastian is livid about Max’s betrayal and attempts to force feed her to one of the Walkers. However, Eugene comes to rescue like a blaze of nerdy lightning, pushing Max out of the way and redirecting the Walker toward Sebastian who’s immediately devoured in front of the simultaneously apathetic and horrified onlookers. Judith (Cailey Fleming) shoots the Walker, but Sabastian dies in horrified agony, anyway. Well-deserved horrified agony, at least.
Governor Milton orders Eugene’s arrest and promises to go easy on Max if Eugene turns himself in. Mercer, caught in the middle and concerned for his sister, searches high and low for Eugene, but once Max is arrested, Eugene turns himself in and claims he acted alone. Eugene is soon found guilty and sentenced to death.
And here we find out something that I’m sure will make the forthcoming spinoffs more interesting: Aaron discovers a variant of Walkers that can climb, open doors, and use tools and weapons…gulp!
Carol and Daryl break Lance out of jail as he’s the only one with knowledge about where to find the Commonwealth’s missing people, including the children. They’re being held in a labor camp called Outpost 22. Some of them, like Connie (Lauren Ridloff) have been separated out and classified as ‘Designation 2’ destined to be shipped far away, never to be seen again. Fortunately, there’s a train for them to follow that transports Designation 2s and supplies. They soon find it, rescue Connie, and learn that Outpost 22 is actually Alexandria. Game on….
Our heroes liberate Alexandria first. Then the rebel forces take the train back to the Commonwealth Capitol where Mercer plans to use testimony from the newly liberated prisoners to remove Governor Milton from power legally and peacefully. However, she catches on and has Mercer arrested. She draws the rebellion in and then orders her remaining loyal troops to direct a giant Walker herd to the city, triggering a lockdown. This proves disastrous when several variant Walkers in the herd are able to enter the city pretty much the way normal living people would: opening doors, climbing over walls, etc.
With a determined coalition of rebels inside the Commonwealth, a citizen uprising sympathetic to the rebels already underway, and advanced Walkers on the loose inside the walls, Governor Milton orders her troops to protect the gated Estates where she lives and abandons her citizens to the death and destruction that’s descended upon their city.
When it’s all said and done, Pamela Milton is arrested for her crimes and the Commonwealth is saved. Some of our beloved heroes don’t make it and some who do are forever scarred, both physically and emotionally. Our survivors will carry on just like they have at the conclusion of every other season of The Walking Dead. Only this time there’s a palpably hopeful epilogue. There’s no immediate threat teed up and ready to cause havoc in a few months. So, I guess we can envision them living out their days happily ever after if we want to.
But wait….
This series HAD a real protagonist. One who went from being a normal guy—a cop with marital struggles trying to raise his son the best he can—to a man thrust into the zombie apocalypse and depended on to lead, to the most bad-assed survivor the new world could possibly conceive, to a broken man, to a redeemed man, and back again. He’s also a protagonist who hasn’t been on the show since Episode 5 of Season Nine. Rick Grimes.
This series couldn’t possibly end without resolving his arc, right?
Well, yes. Yes, it could. It did, in fact. There is an obscure sort of denouement at the end of the finale depicting Rick (Andrew Lincoln) and Michonne (Danai Gurira) who are not together but are intercut narrating separate monologues. Rick is in the past writing in a journal that he hides in a boat for Michonne to find as he’s about to get recaptured by the CRM, and Michonne appears to be in the present or possibly the near future, writing in that same journal and gearing up for a large battle against an unknown force as she continues her quest to find Rick. Where and when this takes place on the timeline isn’t exactly clear, but its purpose is to set up 2023’s miniseries featuring these two characters and, in that regard, it succeeds, but it’s entirely disconnected from both the final episode and the series overall.
That void is one of the primary reasons The Walking Dead feels like it’s going out more like a lamb than a lion. Not resolving Rick’s arc during this series created obvious problems. It left the past two and a half seasons, unusually long seasons at that, with no structural ties to the initial series arc, and that made it inevitable the finale was going to be unsatisfying. Having already deviated from the source material by killing off Carl, once Andrew Lincoln wanted out, the writers were doomed, and the show proceeded as such. No Rick, no Carl, no true resolution.
The other major problem with these last eight episodes, and it’s something that’s plagued the show for several seasons now, is what I call the Negan Rehabilitation Project. It’s one of many byproducts of the writers deviating from the source material in seemingly small or manageable ways to service an immediate fan demand, without understanding the effect it will have on the overarching story.
In this case, the all-knowing people behind this money-making juggernaut decided the fans wanted as much Negan as possible. So, not only would he become a principal character for the last half of the show’s existence, but he’d be shoehorned into the role of protagonist. That’s right. The character that bashed in gentle Glenn’s skull while making his pregnant wife and all those who cared about him watch, who put our heroes in solitary confinement and beat them, who kept and abused multiple “wives”, who tortured and disfigured his own underlings, among many, many more sadistic, deranged, psychopathic atrocities…whelp, he’s a good guy, now!
It’s legitimately easier for me to buy the idea of zombies than it is to go along with the idea that a character rendered the way Negan had been—a sadistically violent, misogynistic, homicidal monster—is really just a poor, misguided fella who’s seen the error of his ways. At least these last eight episodes finally addressed that elephant in the room with scenes depicting conversations specifically addressing this irreconcilable reality between Negan and Ezekiel and Negan and Maggie. Ironically, by addressing it explicitly, the absurdity of it was made that much more apparent.
This last handful of episodes completed the arcs of several peripheral characters and of those, Eugene’s and Gabriel’s stories had the most emotional resonance. These characters arguably changed more than any of the others. Each of these men started out terrified and guilt-ridden, having been unable to rise to the occasion and find what the moment demanded of them when people’s lives were on the line. As a result, they loathed themselves and had resolved to live out the rest of their days alone until the end came. They were not worthy of being saved.
Along the way each man traversed the true darkness of rock bottom, Gabriel’s crisis of faith and Eugene’s alliance with the Saviors respectively, and each came out the other side having learned what heroism is and what it requires to embody that. They both found love. And yet, they both lost so much while remaining steadfast in the face of almost certain death so that they may fight for their friends. In the end, Eugene and Gabriel became indispensable, integral heroes without whom our beloved survivors would almost certainly have failed.
These were two well written characters brought to life by two fantastic performances, each a highlight of the final collection of episodes.
By the end, The Walking Dead wasn’t “about” zombies at all, but rather a postapocalyptic/near-future depiction of dystopian social and fascistic corruption. This dynamic would have worked well on its own, sans zombies, in some series in an alternant universe. And while the Commonwealth plot from the last couple seasons sometimes felt a little too far removed from what the series had delivered up to that point, it is the central conceit of all zombie stories, after all. The real monsters were always here. Being one is a choice.
Daryl says it best in the waning moments of the series as Governor Milton fights to keep the gates to the Estates locked, leaving her citizens to die at the rending, rotten teeth of the ravenous Walker herd.
Daryl: “What are you doing? We all deserve better than this. You built this place to be like the old world. That was the fucking problem.”
Governor Milton: “If I open the gates the dead will get in, not just the living.”
Daryl: “If you don’t, you’re gonna lose everything anyways. We got one enemy. We ain’t the walking dead.”
The Walking Dead TV series and Ravenous Monster came into the world together and it gave us a bona fide cultural horror phenomenon to talk about right out of the gate. And in that regard, I’m extremely fortunate to have been a part of it. Twelve years is a long time. To have a television series last that long and still go out on its own terms is an objectively remarkable feat. And while this series ended up giving us as much ham-handed nonsense as it did utter brilliance, it still feels a bit sad to see it shamble off into the darkness and fade to black.
To those of you who’ve read my thoughts on The Walking Dead over the years, thank you. I’m off, like Daryl on his dirt bike, looking for the next pop cultural monstrosity to write about. I’ll see you there, Horror Fans….
What would a horror movie be without music? Nothing, that’s what. Or, at the very least, it would be a lot less than what it should be. Spooky music has….
Music & EventsWhat would a horror movie be without music? Nothing, that’s what. Or, at the very least, it would be a lot less than what it should be. Spooky music has always been an integral part of the horror movie experience, but it can be said the golden age of cinematic horror soundtracks was the 1970s through the 1980s. That was a time when synthesized electronic soundscapes merged with more standard orchestral instrumentation to create truly mesmerizing and eerie horror film accompaniment. The Italians seemed to lead the way, with the likes of Goblin, Fabio Frizzi, and Riz Ortolani being the standard-bearers.
The Swedish collective Anima Morte is unabashedly influenced by these great sounds of the past and has been busily creating its own horror influenced tunes since 2004. The connection between the horror film music of the late-20th century and the extreme metal underground of roughly the same period has always been strong and Anima Morte has put out split LPs with such heavy hitters as Cripple Bastards, Antigama, and Hooded Menace. They were also lucky enough to collaborate with one of their primary influences, the great Fabio Frizzi.
Recently the band has been allied with Cadabra Records and has scored several of the label’s spoken word horror offerings including H.P. Lovecraft’s “The Music of Erich Zann”, “Dagon”, and “The Call of Cthulhu”. Few acts could be more suited to the task. So, it’s no surprise that the latest and likely most ambitious Anima Morte album Serpents In the Field Of Sleep has also been recently released on Cadabra Records.
Anima Morte pursues a more full-blooded and even thunderous style of cinematic horror music than the often rather minimalist compositions of Goblin and Frizzi. A full range of orchestral horns and strings join the army of synths and keyboards. A look at the recording lineup for the record reveals quite a large cast of characters joining in. Electric guitar also plays a robust part in A.M.’s sound and although none of the songs could ever be called heavy metal, there is much in their music that an open minded metalhead could enjoy, especially the pervasive eerie atmosphere.
There’s also quite a lot of variation in sound and approach between tracks. So therefore, I’ll tackle Serpents In the Field Of Sleep on a track by track basis….
The full and rich approach of the band is immediately apparent as this track barrels in with a powerful bass and synth groove. Layers on layers of keyboards and a strong drumbeat propel the track, which has an urgent and ominous feel of approaching doom. There are also some twangy, almost spaghetti-western type guitars chiming in now and then. All told, this is a lot more thunderous and immense than any GOBLIN track.
This one is a bit more subdued and is almost entirely synth driven. A creepy feeling of nervous dread pervades, and a throbbing bass pushes it forward. What sounds like an electronic choir joins in and then there’s some heavy guitar crunch and a mournful sax interlude. This one creates a kind of Blade Runner feel.
The beginning of this one is laid back, even relaxing, and more guitar based. But around the one-minute mark, full orchestral instrumentation enters the fray and brings a feeling of unfolding suspense and approaching unease. There’s a brief piece that goes to very John Carpenter-like synth minimalism, but that’s just a break before more layers of instruments appear, with electric guitar and some brass dominating. All told, the most “soundtrack”-like cut so far….
There’s a real Suspiria feel to the icy synth and keyboard arpeggios that drive this track. Although there are still layers of sound, this is a simpler track than what we’ve heard before and something about it just seems to remind you of a Dario Argento film. It also comes across as really LOUD.
Again, there’s a real Italian giallo horror vibe to how this one unfolds. It’s based on simple loops of keyboard riffs, but there’s a lot of subtlety in how these loops change over the course of the song. Violins and electric guitar both gradually make their mark on the song. A lot of peaks and valleys in this one.
This is a shorter song driven by a kind of funky bass riff, with slinky violins and choppy piano giving it a real nervous feel. It’s kind of a film noirish song that has a little horn action to add to that groove. I could picture a police car driving down a rainy city street at night here.
The title track is ironically the shortest on the album. This is bewitching and ominous at the same time, notably more laid back, but still plenty spooky, with weeping violins adding sorrow. There are still plenty of layers of sound at work here which the astute listener will unpack despite the shorter run time.
This one is also kind of short but might be my favorite on the album. It seems to the moodiest on an album full of moods, unfolding slowly and leisurely. The keyboard riffs on top are just so catchy and hypnotic. With a minute to go, things really get kicked up a notch, with loud electric guitar and a “rock” feel.
The album appropriately ends with the longest and most epic track, one that puts all of Anima Morte’s eggs in one big basket. They used about every instrument they had at their command here. The tempo is mostly slow and mysterious, and it sounds like it really is the climax of a bloody giallo movie where all secrets are revealed, and the final bloodbath begins. The guitar even approaches metallic heaviness before things gradually begin to dissolve and fade away.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one. Whatever you do, don’t fall asleep! But sleeping is so darn tempting these days, isn’t it? Life is rough and your bed is so warm and comfy. However, after watching the debut film—an absolute indie gem–from writer/director Justin […]
Movie Reviews Movies & TVStop me if you’ve heard this one. Whatever you do, don’t fall asleep! But sleeping is so darn tempting these days, isn’t it? Life is rough and your bed is so warm and comfy. However, after watching the debut film—an absolute indie gem–from writer/director Justin Miller that I’m here to tell you a little bit about, you just may never want to sleep again.
Sleep.Walk.Kill is a fun zombie romp and a love letter to such classics as Shaun Of The Dead, Night Of The Living Dead and The Evil Dead but with a few new twists and turns thrown in by the aforementioned Justin Miller. Essentially, Sleep.Walk.Kill starts off with an interesting scene depicting a pretty girl who’s scantily dressed and her boyfriend who’s also ready for some kinky sexy time…and is also, umm, dressed for said occasion. However, things don’t go as planned, and before we know it, someone’s covered in blood for no apparent reason. This is always a great introduction to a film!
Moving forward, we’re introduced to our antihero protagonist, Edgar (Bill Reick) who leads a seemingly regular life. Edgar is a single guy, and it’s easy to see why. He’s a slob. He’s kind of a dick. He’s got an annoying, overbearing mother. We all probably have a friend like ol’ Edgar.
We learn that the guy was married at one point because he winds up paying a visit to his ex-wife Ady’s (Samantha Russell) house to visit his dog, over which she has “custody.” There’s an exchange between the ex-lovers and Edgar heads back home defeated…but with pizza. Suddenly, a strange noise comes from the sky and people come out of their houses perplexed as to what it is. Among the folks we see coming out to “investigate” the weird sound is a pregnant woman and a goth teen girl. Not surprisingly, we’ll see them later in the film.
Once Edgar goes back inside, there’s a breaking newscast regarding the odd occurrence. Soon Edgar is visited by someone we’ve seen earlier in the film and silly, bloody antics involving a freezer door and a chef’s knife follow. We also find out more about what’s taking place with the town’s citizens and their sleeping patterns. The killing action begins and Edgar steps into the reluctant hero role as he rushes to save Ady from her fate. Together, they begin to understand what’s going on. Essentially, if you fall asleep, you turn into a sleepwalking monster. To stay alive, you have to stay awake.
A group of those who want to be safe and try to survive congregates at Edgar’s house, including the pregnant woman and the goth girl. Resources and space grow tight. But just when things can’t get worse…Edgar’s family shows up and the insanity of everything going on reaches another level. Decisions are made. Blood is spilled. Bodies start to pile up. At the end, it’s simply a question of who will survive and what will be left of them?
Sleep.Walk.Kill isn’t without its flaws, but it’s an entertaining watch from a new name that I hope to see more from. Justin Miller did a fantastic job and turned out a really enjoyable movie. The cast and crew should take a bow and give themselves a round of applause for a job well done!
Sleep.Walk.Kill is now available digitally and on VOD.
There’s nothing quite like Christmas Horror. Book or movie, it doesn’t matter. It’s the perfect blend of salty and sweet. Horrific and whimsical. Ghosts and goblins and ghouls are par for the course on Halloween, but Christmas Horror feels like a special treat. It can […]
Movie Reviews Movies & TVThere’s nothing quite like Christmas Horror. Book or movie, it doesn’t matter. It’s the perfect blend of salty and sweet. Horrific and whimsical. Ghosts and goblins and ghouls are par for the course on Halloween, but Christmas Horror feels like a special treat. It can be cheeky and schlocky, or depressing and bleak. It can come with a message, or it can be pure carnage. Whatever the flavor and whatever the motivation, Christmas Horror hits different.
The Killing Tree aims for the schlockier side of things. On Christmas Eve, Magna (Gillian Broderick) conducts a ritual to bring her executed serial killer husband back to life. When she botches the spell, Clayton Slayter (Marcus Massey) is resurrected in the form of a Christmas tree. Both enraged by his altered state, and thrilled with newfound powers, Clayton resumes his murderous rampage. However, before he can truly begin again, he has unfinished business to attend to.
Across town, Faith (Sarah Alexandra Marks) is planning for a night of fun and Christmas cheer with her friends. The sole survivor of Clayton’s massacre, and the key witness leading to his execution, Faith hopes to put the horrors behind her and move on with her life. Unfortunately for Faith and her friends, Clayton has other plans for Christmas Eve.
I’m a firm believer in the concept of ‘The Worse the Idea: The Better the Movie’. If you take the most asinine and idiotic idea you can imagine, more often than not the final result is so mind-numbingly ridiculous that it can’t stop itself from being wildly entertaining.
Other times you wind up with The Killing Tree.
After a bombastic and delightfully over-the-top opening scene, The Killing Tree seems poised to be one of the great trash cinema masterpieces of the year. Once the introduction is complete and the movie proper begins, that energy fizzles.
Death scenes come and go without fanfare or charm. Conversations drag on, sometimes for twenty minutes at a time, flooding us with backstory that we really don’t care about. Haphazard flashbacks weave themselves into the narrative with no rhyme or reason. The movie drags its feet getting to the fun parts, only to pull the rug out from under itself just as it’s about to get interesting.
The cast does an admirable job with what they’re given. It’s the performances that can take a ridiculous premise and make it work. If the performers look like they’re terrified of a homicidal tree, the audience should feel that the tree is a threat as well. When the tree finally launches its attack on the cast, the actors do their best to make it seem real. It’s the rest of the movie that drops the ball.
May Kelley as Cindy gives a wonderful performance as she is terrorized by the tree. For a moment, the poolside massacre scene seemed as if it was about to raise the movie to the next level. The stage was set. The characters were established. All the pieces were in place for the movie to pull the ripcord and let loose.
And then it just…didn’t.
The scene ends. It doesn’t reach a conclusion, so much as it stops. Following that, the party massacre scene begins and ends much the same way. The Clayton-Tree quickly kills everyone he comes across, bloodlessly and mostly off-screen. Most of the mayhem is in long-distance CG shots. There’s no close up of the bodies. No reaction shots of the victims or onlookers. Nothing to make it remarkable.
Not to sound like your high school guidance counselor, but the movie just doesn’t live up to its potential. It doesn’t try to be scary. It doesn’t try to be funny. It doesn’t try to be gory, or offensive, or absurd. That’s the biggest problem with The Killing Tree. It just doesn’t try. What should be a farcical romp is instead a meandering slog.
If you’re like me, and you can’t get enough of Christmas Horror, go ahead and give The Killing Tree a watch. It’s an amusing premise and can make good background noise while you’re wrapping presents or decorating the tree. Just don’t expect it to be part of your yearly tradition.
The Killing Tree is available on DVD and Digital November 1, 2022.
Running Ravenous Monster is a passion project. It costs time. It costs money. It requires labor. The reward is writing about a topic I love for an audience I appreciate. I enjoy it because, like you, I’m a horror fan through and through. So, when […]
Featured Article Movie Reviews Movies & TVRunning Ravenous Monster is a passion project. It costs time. It costs money. It requires labor. The reward is writing about a topic I love for an audience I appreciate. I enjoy it because, like you, I’m a horror fan through and through. So, when October rolls around I get insanely happy and insanely busy in equal measure.
Of course, there are a million new movies to cover. However, I’m also a family man, and my daughter goes Halloween-haywire too, so I make sure to facilitate her enjoyment to the best of my ability. And my wife is no stranger to horror-nerd proclivities, herself. So, to say our Octobers are booked full is an understatement.
But I do still need some me-time.
Every October, I participate in a private 31 Days of Horror group comprised of underground genre filmmakers, writers, critics, and podcasters. It’s become one of the things I look forward to most about Halloween season. For the entire month social media stops being an insufferable wasteland–festering away while fomenting the end of democracy and depressing the masses–and it becomes the thriving community its potential has alluded to since the mid-aughts (mostly). For these 31 days, I get to interact with some real freaks, weirdos, sickos, and outsiders. In other words, I’m among my favorite, like-minded people, and it’s a blast.
The idea is to watch a movie each day of October and then share your immediate impression of it with the group in a short post. I almost never complete the entire challenge because it’s difficult to watch 31 movies in 31 days, no matter what the circumstances. But this year—so far—I’ve come close, and that’s meant that I’ve watched what scientists refer to as “a shit-ton” of horror flicks.
This year’s movies run the gamut from the biggest, newest releases—which are first-time viewings for all of us—to things I’ve watched every year since the early-‘80s. My daughter, who’s eight, was bound and determined to watch some “real” horror with me this year, and my wife always has a few picks as well. So, I’ve consumed a bit of every strain, flavor, and era of horror cinema this month and I figured, why the hell not share some of the high- (and low-) lights with you all?
The following are my immediate impressions of some of the films I’ve watched so far this month (it’s Oct. 27 as I write this). These are entirely informal. In fact, they’re overly informal. They are not revised, or ruminated upon, or polished by the clarity of retrospection. Some of them barely make sense! To put it another way, these are unfiltered movie reactions from your Editor-in-Chief that were never intended for you to read. Don’t say I didn’t warn you….
Have fun, Horror Fans, and Happy Halloween!
A QUIET PLACE PART II
This was a wife/husband watch. We saw the first one in the theater and enjoyed it well enough. Serious props to Jim Halpert.
This one was enjoyable, too.
It adheres to a standard sequel formula by loosely recreating the original movie beat by beat, but creatively twisting or broadening the scope of each beat, so that we end up with a bigger, crazier version of what worked the first time. In theory, at least.
And that’s fine, but I think I enjoyed it a bit more the first time, before we already knew the “rules” of this story.
Also, I am not a fan of this level, or style, or whatever of CGI. Those elements didn’t look good.
Otherwise, this was not a bad way to spend a couple hours.
BARBARIAN
I went into this one 100% cold–no trailers, no commercials, not even a tag line. I knew exactly three things: it’s called Barbarian, it involves an Airbnb, and it’s generating buzz.
I won’t write too much because I thought it was great, but I suspect that the less you know, the better.
I found it legitimately creepy at points. It’s occasionally darkly funny, but just enough to balance the griminess of the rest of it. It unapologetically takes a few tried and true tropes and spits them out in a completely unexpected, extremely effective way.
I found it to be a solidly gnarly, true horror film and I highly recommend it.
BEETLEJUICE
My daughter and I were at Spirit Halloween a couple weeks ago and she saw their line of Beetlejuice merchandise which piqued her interest.
Like many of you, I’ve seen this a million times, beginning when it was in theaters. The last time was probably 20 years ago.
It’s still fun. It’s a tight movie with, for my tastes, just the right amount of Tim Burton-ness included. While I certainly appreciate his “thing,” the older I’ve gotten, the less I enjoy his directorial thumbprint all over every pixel of every frame.
Sidenote: I’d love to see him tackle something that’s 100% aesthetically and tonally different than the rest of his canon. I think that would yield fascinating results.
My wife, like me, has seen this lots and she enjoyed it again this time. My daughter loved it. And bottom line, Michael Keaton is a pleasure to watch in anything.
DERANGED
Tonight felt like a good time to jump in my time machine and throw this in the VCR.
An ultra-low-budget contemporary of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, but even more directly inspired by the Ed Gein situation that went down in the land of beer and cheese a couple decades earlier.
This one is an all-time favorite of mine. It features super early, gnarly Tom Savini effects, loads of proverbial cheese, and a grimy vibe that can’t be replicated on purpose. My copy has a weird little Gein documentary included.
Fun fact: I ate an unusually large amount of various smoked meats during this viewing. It somehow felt a little diabolical. Also, predictive text wants ‘diabolical’ to be ‘diabetic’ and now I’m really freakin’ out….
DOG SOLDIERS
At some point I’ll get back to watching movies I haven’t seen before, but first…another favorite….
British soldiers expecting to rendezvous with a Special Ops team while on a training exercise deep in the Scottish Highlands find themselves under siege by A PACK OF FUCKING WEREWOLVES!!!
WHAT?!!! Yeah, that’s right.
[By merely typing those words, a kaiju of 10-year-old me sprang into existence in an alternate universe and is destroying a city. Shame.]
As if that isn’t enough to pique your interest, one of the most fascinating things about this production is watching a neophyte Neil Marshall learn how to be outstanding by figuring out how to make an ambitious werewolf movie with a dearth of resources and experience.
He rides the chops of his outstanding ensemble cast, featuring some faces that rose to prominence later in Game of Thrones, and his great script to create what for me is everything I could ever want in a wolfman flick.
It’s definitely a test run for The Descent, but with dudes and lycanthropes. I love it. I highly recommend it.
HALLOWEEN
This was another daughter pick. Back in September, I showed her a bunch of trailers for classic horror flicks. She was really intrigued by the trailer for this, and she’s been begging to see it ever since.
I figured, of all the slasher classics, this one has the least blood and fewest boobs, so we went for it. By the time we got to Act Three, she was cracking jokes to diffuse the tension like an old pro.
My opinion of this one goes without saying. But I did note that after all these years, it’s really starting to feel incredibly tame by the modern standards of not only horror movies but even genre TV shows. It’s also remarkable just how many horror movie tropes were born here.
Great movie. Fun night.
HALLOWEEN ENDS
I’ll keep it brief. The two most surprising things for me were:
I had extremely low expectations and even so, this managed to come up profoundly short of them.
There’s an objectively talented group of filmmakers behind this franchise entrusted with the monumental task of somehow tying a bow around this thing to one extent or another, and of all the myriad ways to do it, somehow THIS was what we ended up with.
It’s like a carnival of bad ideas (if carnivals were long and boring, I guess). For me, this one missed the target entirely.
HELLRAISER
Like many of you, this is another favorite of mine. It was my wife’s pick, tonight, as she’d never seen it and it’d been several years for me.
Talk about injecting something COMPLETELY different into 1987’s horror zeitgeist! The aesthetic of this has been so often imitated that I think people have forgotten how absolutely next level it was when it dropped.
Watching tonight reminded me what a “holy shit!” sequence the prologue is and how it removes any sense of familiarity from everything that follows.
They stretched the hell out of their $900,000.00 budget, but the lack of money and the relative lack of experience in certain key areas make this pretty rough around the edges in several respects, too.
But I liken that to sitting at your favorite Sicilian restaurant right after you’ve told the dude who just grated a mound of fresh parmesan on top of your plate of Caponata to stop.
It’s like, of course there’s cheese! And it’s exquisite!!
HELLRAISER (2022)
I’m a huge fan of the original Hellraiser as well as “The Hellbound Heart” novella. I also largely enjoy the first sequel. I’ve seen the third and fourth movies, and that’s as far as it goes for me with this franchise.
[Sidenote: In the ‘80s I rented EVERYTHING, and one night in 1987 I happened to rent Hellraiser and Evil Dead 2 together and had one of the best movie-watching nights of my entire life.]
I know a lot’s already been written here about this one and I certainly don’t have any profound insight to offer. I wanted to like it, but it was not to be. For me it was an overly long, convoluted mess. Everything got thrown against the wall and yet not one thing stuck. I found it one dimensional and boring.
There are a few scenes/shots of Cenobites that are effectively creepy, for sure. They’re just way too few and far between to justify the nearly two hours of everything else.
HOCUS POCUS
This was yet another family viewing and it was my first time. My wife is a bit younger than me, and it was her pick. So, she’s got that nostalgia thing happening, but…
…Oof.
Like, if I was in Guantanamo Bay and they put me in a room with Bette Midler wearing that outfit and doing this shtick? I’d pretty much instantly tell George W. Bush all my secrets.
Aside from the occasional burst of Halloween atmosphere, I really did not enjoy this. And of course, I’m already on the hook for part 2….
I’m not sure my kid even liked it, but maybe I’m just seeing it all through grumpy, old lenses.
HOCUS POCUS 2
This was a mom/daughter pick. Its release was the catalyst for our watching the original last week. I really didn’t like that one, and, unsurprisingly, I struggled mightily getting through this one.
I don’t get it. But I’m old and grumpy so I don’t think I’m the target demo. Anyway, empty calories serving a Fandom to which I don’t belong.
MANIAC
This is another all-time favorite of mine, and I had the Blue Underground release over on the shelf, still shrink-wrapped, so I figured what the hell?
Joe Spinell and Bill Lustig conspired to make a sleazy, brutal, and disturbing little masterpiece told from the perspective of a demented serial killer who’s losing his grip on what’s real.
It’s exemplary of the confluence between one of my favorite cinematic eras and one of my favorite cinematic regions. I mean, pop this in and you can practically smell the puddles of piss up and down 42nd Street.
One thing that really struck me this time was how impressively prescient this was in that it got an incredible number of things right about the way serial killers operate. And this was way before any of that information was really available outside of those fields of study.
It features a truly great performance by Spinell. Also, Tom Savini goes ham.
PREY
We liked this well enough. Great setting. Tight, classically composed story. Nice, svelte run time. This was another daddy/daughter pick, and it ended up being right on the edge of what she can deal with. She didn’t find it scary; in fact, she digs the creep-factor part of this stuff more than anything. She’s just really squeamish. I told her CGI gore doesn’t count, but she wasn’t buying it.
POLTERGEIST
This is yet another family watch. My daughter thought it was pretty awesome. And I hadn’t seen it in at least a couple decades. It’s a touch rougher around the edges than I remember it being, but it still holds up really well (even though the movie’s objective correlative is an ancient, 400lb TV that goes to static late at night…might as well have been a dinosaur bone to my kid).
Back in 1982 we didn’t have much…but we sure had HBO!! So, from ’82 through ’83 my brother and I watched Poltergeist and Jaws 3 like seven times per day. So, this movie was for sure an early influence on my movie sensibilities. Hungry little fucker watching ghost flicks.
PUMPKINHEAD
This was another daughter/dad watch. I’ve been in love with this one since it was released, and I thought it was a perfect time to share it with the kiddo.
An outstanding Lance Henriksen performance. A creepy-assed mountain witch. A great monster. It’s an impressive directorial debut from the great Stan Winston and a perfect Halloween time watch.
My daughter thought this was amazing. We had lots of fun.
*She also noticed a “dead guy’s” eye move and was for the next forty-five minutes an expert on how one should comport oneself when pretending to be a corpse.
THE BLACK PHONE
I read the short story this was adapted from a long, long time ago and while I remember really enjoying it, I don’t remember the actual story, which is weird. Right?
What’s also weird is that watching this movie didn’t ring any bells either. That’s some old man brain shenanigans, there. Then again, I just got done playing a gig, and I watched this a couple nights ago. And I’m tapping this out on my phone. Like, a team of the world’s top scientists couldn’t invent a worse time for me to be doing this.
Anyway, I mostly enjoyed this. It’s great looking and it sounds fantastic, too. This is a rare movie that gets its era’s aesthetic correct, for the most part. Things look and sound like the late-‘70s/early-‘80s.
It relies on a largely child cast and so you get what you get with that. And don’t scrutinize the central conceit of this at all. It doesn’t make any sense. Just go with it.
Also, this comes from the King Family Canon, so pretty much everyone and everything has ESP. Stray dog? Straight up mind reader. Squirrel that steals your birdseed? He can hear your inner monolog.
THE HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY
Tonight seemed like a great night to get my Fulci Fix. This is the third film in his “Gates of Hell” trilogy and it’s probably the most coherent of the three. Even so, like all Lucio Fulci movies, it’s wacky-bananas before the opening credits even roll.
It’s every bit his signature Italian Gothic Horror meets Exploitation Splatter. A spectacularly gory fever dream. And probably his take on Lovecraftian horror.
I find every single frame of this to be an absolute pleasure on the eyes, and every shot is compelling and beautiful/creepy. And yet…you have to endure kung fu flick-level dubbing and some performances that are so bad, it’s hard to believe they were done in earnest. But, you know, that comes with the territory.
It features another great score by Walter Rizzati that, along with everything else, makes this movie extremely evocative of its era. And I’m an absolute sucker for it. 1981 underground Italian cinema with New York City connections? You can’t go wrong!!
For me, these “Gates of Hell” flicks are great Halloween time viewing.
THE NIGHT HOUSE
This was another solo watch for me. It’s been on my radar since last year and I found it really impressive. It fell short of great for me by unraveling a bit in the third act. The resolution gets a little too convoluted for its own good. But it’s not enough to derail an otherwise well-crafted movie.
It gets a ton of mileage from some top-notch performances and a pretty brilliant sound design. It’s also an unashamed horror flick made for adults by adults which was a nice change of pace.
I highly recommend it but be warned…there’s some really traumatic nonhorror shit depicted in it that may not be for everyone.
THE STUFF
This is a Larry Cohen joint from 1985 and when I was a ‘tween I saw it several times and enjoyed it, but I haven’t seen it since.
I was an unusually discerning movie watcher as a kid, so I was pretty surprised tonight to discover the multifaceted badness of this. Some of it is at least hysterical.
The strangest component of this thing is the portrayal of our protagonist, David, the investigator. The actor, a thirty-ish guy inhabited by the soul of a fifty-ish guy, plays our hero as kind of an assistant college football coach in the SEC with a sub-80 IQ and a quaint, folksy hatred of women type of dude.
Peering into this story through this character’s eyes was quite the time. I feel like I should probably have a word with 1980s me.
WEREWOLF BY NIGHT
I couldn’t settle on anything tonight, saw this, and went for it. This was pretty fun. It clocks in at 55 minutes which is unusual but appreciated. It’s a ’40s-style pulp/noir tale of monster hunting, powerful ancient relic wielders, and werewolf shenanigans. It’s full of action, creepy set-pieces and it’s thick with Halloween vibes. Not a bad way to spend an hour this month.
X
This was my first solo flight this year. As I’m sure you know, it got lots of hype and as hard as I tried to temper them, my expectations were a little hot going in.
From a technical perspective, I loved it. It looks great. It sounds great. It’s well acted. You get the idea.
I love how the premise of this inverts a slasher trope that’s been beaten to death, first in earnest and later ironically.
However…
Once the homicidal shenanigans began to unfold, things got a lot more conventional, and the plot started requiring herculean levels of concentration to keep myself engaged lest I scrutinized anything I was watching for even a second. Even for a slasher flick, this one almost became too nonsensical for my bruised and battered suspension of disbelief to withstand.
Overall, though, I mostly enjoyed it.
What are we even doing here? This is what we’ve come to, huh? Don’t Fuck In The Woods 2. That’s the actual name of the movie. And “2”? There’s more than one of these? This isn’t a movie. This is a joke. It’s the bonehead […]
Movie Reviews Movies & TVWhat are we even doing here? This is what we’ve come to, huh? Don’t Fuck In The Woods 2. That’s the actual name of the movie. And “2”? There’s more than one of these? This isn’t a movie. This is a joke. It’s the bonehead idea you come up with when you’re seventeen and you and your idiot friends decide to make a movie. It’s the kind of idea that’s never meant to leave the smokey confines of your buddy’s mom’s basement. Yet here we are.
So, what, am I supposed to actually review this thing? Should I convince you to give it a watch? If you’re anything like me, you knew if this was meant for you the moment you saw the title. You were doubly sure if you watched the trailer. This is not a movie made for general audiences. This is a movie for deviants and miscreants.
I loved it.
If I only had one word to describe Don’t Fuck In The Woods 2, it would be “Gratuitous.” Gratuitous violence? Check. Gratuitous nudity? Check. Gratuitous sophomoric humor? You’d better believe it.
This movie goes hard. From Frame One, it makes clear that it’s not toying around. You don’t watch a movie like this unless you’re looking for some absurd, offensive, and excessive schlock. With Don’t Fuck In The Woods 2 you’re getting twice as much as you paid for, and a little extra on the side.
Of course, the Achilles Heel of a movie like this is in the writing. It’s all too easy for the creative team to rest on a gimmicky title and a deliberate “So-Bad-It’s-Good” shtick. But feigned (and sometimes not-so-feigned) incompetence can only take you so far. You still have to put in the work. Silly titles and cheezeball plots can only do so much of the heavy lifting before the entire affair becomes tedious.
Here’s the thing: Don’t Fuck In The Woods 2 is so entertaining that I would have let a bad script slide. Poor form can be forgiven as long as the delivery is spectacular. Splash a decent amount of blood my way, and that’s good enough for me. But good enough wasn’t good enough for the maniacs steering this ship.
What do we have here? Gratuitous good writing? Talk about wildly unnecessary, but there it is. Co-written by director Shawn Burkett and star Cheyenne Gordon, the script goes that extra mile and actually takes care to be a good story first. The duo strikes a delicate balance between plot, characterization, and pacing along with the more important stuff like gore and naked people.
Speaking of people, naked or otherwise, the entire cast deserves a round of applause for keeping the movie afloat. Bad acting is also forgivable as long as the end result is entertaining, but once again, everyone involved brings their A-game. Undeterred by the absurdity, the great outdoors, and the endless supply of stage blood, the cast gives it their all and collectively raises the quality of the production to a level far exceeding what was needed.
There’s no reason for this movie to be as good as it is. In the arena of ‘80s-throwback horror, the bar is set pretty low. All you really need is a camera and a little bit of blood. Maybe a nifty effect or two, if you’re feeling fancy. It’s not that complicated. Anything beyond that is just a bonus. Don’t Fuck In The Woods 2 is full of bonuses. Between the writing, acting, gore, and just generally fun mood, it towers over every other entry within its niche.
If there are any problems to be found with the movie, it’s with the opening scene. Seemingly torn from the pages of a Richard Laymon novel, the movie opens with a sexual assault, and that’s baffling. It’s tongue in cheek and meant to be over the top like the rest of the movie. But kicking things off with a monster-rape scene is like starting a song with a sour note. You can recover, and Don’t Fuck In The Woods 2 does recover, but it does leave a bad taste in the mouth from the get-go. While thematically relevant, the scene is tonally jarring and perhaps would have been better left on the cutting room floor.
But that’s the danger in taking risks. If you’re going to go hard, you have to go hard, social decency be damned. Sometimes it’s a home run, and other times it’s a swing and a miss. Luckily, aside from this one misstep early on, the rest of the movie is a clear winner.
Could I possibly convince you to watch this movie? Probably not. I’m sure your mind is already made up, one way or the other. But if you find yourself on the lookout for a bloody, sexy, and ridiculous movie, give Don’t Fuck In The Woods 2 a try. You’d be hard-pressed to find anything nearly as good.
Don’t Fuck In The Woods 2 is available on VOD October 11 2022 and on Blu-Ray December 2022.
Life’s been tough for Danny (Joseph Almani). He’s struggling with his job as a police officer. His girlfriend has left him. And now he’s staying with his Uncle Bill (Michael Paré) at a secluded ranch in the middle of nowhere. Things aren’t looking too good […]
Movie Reviews Movies & TVLife’s been tough for Danny (Joseph Almani). He’s struggling with his job as a police officer. His girlfriend has left him. And now he’s staying with his Uncle Bill (Michael Paré) at a secluded ranch in the middle of nowhere. Things aren’t looking too good for him, but at least he’s got one thing to look forward to: Fixing up a classic car.
When an earthquake strikes, the car falls from its lifts, killing Bill and pinning Danny to the floor. Trapped in the dark, with limited ability to contact the outside world, life seems to have gotten about as bad as it can get. Unfortunately for Danny, things only get worse when he realizes he’s not alone in the garage. Squirming creatures emerge from the ground after the quake. Creatures with massive jaws, several rows of teeth, and venomous stingers. Creatures that kill anything that crosses their path.
They Crawl Beneath is a mostly solid monster movie. Director Dale Fabrigar keeps things moving along quickly, and despite the story primarily taking place in a single location, the movie manages to avoid feeling stagnant. There’s always some new frame or angle chosen to keep things feeling fresh. When the bulk of the story revolves around a single person who can’t even move around, the movie could very easily become boring. Fabrigar skillfully avoids that trap and keeps the story engaging.
Along with his direction, the script by Tricia Aurand is responsible for much of the film’s pacing. Tightly crafted and always moving, the story deftly jumps from one obstacle to the next. As soon as Danny resolves one crisis, another rears its head, leaving him seemingly no closer to escape than he was to begin with. Ironically, it’s Danny’s struggles against the inanimate world around him that form the most compelling part of the story. Even without the creatures, the story could function essentially the same way.
And that’s one of the weaker points of the film.
The creatures are an interesting design and come equipped with horrific capabilities. They hit a sweet spot with monsters where they’re just familiar enough to be almost recognizable yet alien enough to be repulsive. There’s just enough information provided early on to give them some context, but they are otherwise left mysterious.
For such an interesting creature, their presence is largely absent. One will show up here and there to throw a wrench into Danny’s attempts to free himself. But despite the established dangers, they are easily dealt with and seem to be more of a nuisance than an actual threat.
Though the script is tightly plotted, with nearly every scene either setting up a future scene, or paying off a previous one, much of it feels unnecessary. A significant amount of time is spent dealing with family drama and relationship dynamics. Rather than focusing on the core concept of being stuck in a room with deadly monsters, They Crawl Beneath puts a little too much emphasis on the melodrama and not enough on the monster-drama.
By the end, the story feels incomplete. Not bad, but not quite what it could be. Between the creatures, the writing, and the directing, all the ingredients are there the for a truly great movie. Unfortunately, that potential is never truly reached.
I do recommend giving it a watch though. Despite some missteps, They Crawl Beneath is a strongly plotted movie with an interesting monster. Perhaps if we’re lucky, this isn’t the last we’ll see of these creatures. Like any good monster, there’s always a chance they may rise from the earth once again for a sequel. And then we can see what they’re really capable of.
They Crawl Beneath is available on Blu-ray October 4.
It’s finally that time of year and I, for one, am ready for it. I just watched a pretty great movie to kick the season off and I’m just going to get right to it and tell you a little bit about Surrogate—a spooky, ghostly […]
Movie Reviews Movies & TVIt’s finally that time of year and I, for one, am ready for it. I just watched a pretty great movie to kick the season off and I’m just going to get right to it and tell you a little bit about Surrogate—a spooky, ghostly tale from Australia that checks all the boxes and is a satisfying watch overall. So, grab a hot cider, or one of those gross pumpkin spice flavored things, and sit back while I tell you a little bit about what you can expect….
Surrogate comes to us from the minds of the writing duo of Beth King and David Willing, who wears two hats, as he’s also the director. It’s difficult to put together a synopsis that doesn’t give too much away. The movie’s not your typical over-the-top gorefest, nor is it a slow burn of a story. This offering feels more like a modern telling of The Changeling mashed up with The Ring, as it’s that kind of a ghost story. It’s not only about loss and the supernatural but also the protective nature of a parent who’s willing to do whatever it takes to save their child from the clutches of something evil even if it means making the ultimate sacrifice to keep them safe.
The cast is phenomenal. The performances are brilliant, especially from child actresses Taysha Farrugia and Ellie Stewart. This is a completely refreshing change from listening to children screaming shrilly for the entirety of a horror film. The leading actresses, Kestie Morassi and Jane Badler are incredibly believable in their roles as the powerhouse protagonist and hateful antagonist, respectively.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Mark Buys’s score which adds even more suspense to the already tense atmosphere of the film.
Surrogate’s main strength among its many is the incredibly strong storytelling that kept me glued to the screen. And don’t worry. There are some very effective jumps and gore throughout the film, but not a lot. There are also some unexpected twists and turns as well as a bit of comedic levity thrown in when needed.
I thoroughly enjoyed Surrogate and found it to be one of the better horror offerings of 2022 thus far. If you’d like to watch it, it’s currently streaming on Amazon Prime for $1.99. Give it a watch and let me know your thoughts.
“I believe there are monsters in the world that are born to human parents.” –John Steinbeck The social media age is the age of billions of people struggling against each other in a race to be heard. Millions of podcasts and YouTube channels and blogs […]
Movie Reviews Movies & TV“I believe there are monsters in the world that are born to human parents.” –John Steinbeck
The social media age is the age of billions of people struggling against each other in a race to be heard. Millions of podcasts and YouTube channels and blogs and TikTok channels and who knows whatever trendy apps, all bursting at the seams with folks who want to share their expertise and opinions. You are likely one of them. And the more people put themselves out there, the fewer seem to care, unless you are one of the lucky few who somehow wind up as an “influencer”.
This is the world that Greywood’s Plot, a clever indie horror pastiche, takes place in. Dom, the protagonist of the movie, is a video blogger operating in the shadowy world of cryptozoology and the paranormal. He’s fascinated with strange creatures on the borderland of reality. Unfortunately for Dom, few people seem interested in his opinions and those who are interested tend to be cruel and harsh in the manner of most online trolls. The loneliness and rejection of Dom’s chosen world leads him to a destiny darker and more horrific than anything he could imagine. It leads him to Greywood’s Plot!
This movie’s subject matter automatically makes me sympathetic. I can relate to Dom a lot. I also write on some of the same subjects that fascinate him and have dealt with some of the same rejection. Dom is pretty much stuck in his mom’s basement with only his YouTube channel and blogs to occupy him. I’ve been there, I know what it’s like. He’s searching for something different in this world, something to validate his existence. And ultimately, he takes drastic steps to achieve it.
Greywood’s Plot is the creation of director Josh Stifter, who also stars as Dom, and actor Daniel Degnan, who plays Doug Greywood. It’s a movie that starts in one place and ends up in a place that’s very different. It combines sarcastic humor and comedy with grotesque and absurd body horror. It’s a very quirky looking film, done strictly in moody black and white with a lot of odd visual detours and an effective soundtrack. If I had to describe it in terms of comparison, it’s like a mash-up of Clerks, Tusk and House of 1000 Corpses. But even that doesn’t do it justice…
Well, let’s take a dive into this weird slice of indie cinema. I will try to avoid the major spoilers, but some small ones are unavoidable….
The opening scenes of the movie establish that it is in black and white. I think it’s a great choice for Greywood’s Plot and honestly, this would be a less effective movie in standard color. We see a lonesome country shack out in the woods while a mournful alt-country version of “Home on the Range” slowly plays. On the inside of the shack, an intense looking fellow is stoically sitting. Something is covered by a white sheet and feebly gasping. It’s something awful…
Then we get introduced to our hero Dom as old family movies of him play. He is editing a video and narrating it. “I am utterly alone,” he says. “I just wanted to do something important.” Unfortunately, Dom fumbles his narration and cuts loose with some curse words. We already know this guy is kind of a dweeb. ”God, I wish I had better footage,” he laments. That’s the story of everybody working in cryptozoology and the paranormal.
Dom is in pretty bad shape. The video he is making appears to be a suicide note of some kind. He’s got a gun and is ready to go all the way. But just as he’s ready to pull the trigger, he loses his nerve. I don’t think this was the first time this happened, either. Then his mom calls him upstairs to dinner and the moment has passed.
Dom’s relationship with his mother doesn’t appear to be too great. He’s a rather foul-mouthed and ill-tempered son and Mom pretty much admits that he’s never going to amount to much. Confronted with such overwhelming parental support, Dom decides to hang out with best friend and fellow paranormal investigator Myles. Myles (Keith Radichel) is just as big a loser as Dom is. A video game nut, we first encounter him throwing away a vintage Gameboy in frustration when the game doesn’t go his way. Dom and Myles are lifelong friends and pretty much united by their shared uselessness.
A lot of the early part of Greywood’s Plot revolves around the pair commiserating about their state. The dialogue is comically ridiculous as they lament their situation over beers at the local watering hole. Dom is always on the verge of the next big paranormal expose. He’s got some exciting footage from a Bigfoot witness. The footage is laugh-out-loud hilarious as the hillbilly witness mentions that “he had a big pecker” when asked to describe the monster. Myles knows the footage is not going to lead to anything, but Dom doesn’t give up. Until he checks out the latest YouTube video he’s posted and sees 16 thumbs up and 115 thumbs down. The idiotic comments on the video are the same you would see on many YouTube videos, full of spite, curse words and crude insults. They are depressingly realistic.
That finally seems to break his spirit. But just as things seem to be at their bleakest, Dom receives a mysterious VHS tape through the mail from an anonymous party. The footage appears to show what seems to be a Chupacabra-type creature in a remote rural area. Viewers will recognize it from the footage that opened the movie. A note with the tape refers Dom to the man who owns the land where the video was shot, Mr. Doug Greywood. An excited Dom calls up a skeptical Myles and invites him to go on a road trip to Greywood’s property.
So, the two buddies hit the road as more dark acoustic music plays. We notice Dom has packed his pistol in the glove compartment. The only disquieting sign during the trip is when a strange shambling figure crosses the road in front of them as they approach their destination. They shrug that off and make their way to what seems the middle of nowhere, complete with an abandoned shack and the same dilapidated birdhouse we’ve seen before. They’re scared out of their wits by the appearance of Doug Greywood (Daniel Degnan) …who turns out to be a blandly amiable fellow in the vein of Ned Flanders from The Simpsons. He welcomes the pair to camp out on “the back forty”.
Night comes as the duo are in their tent and while the ambience is spooky, nothing really happens. At first. The next day, they separate for a bit to look for appealing locations. And then suddenly Dom is ambushed and knocked unconscious. And the mood and trajectory of Greywood’s Plot changes drastically from droll comedy to nightmarish horror. Dom undergoes a bloody transformation while Myles spends a horrific night in the woods dodging monsters and encountering mutilated victims. Does Myles really see all those creatures…or are they just in his fear-crazed mind? That’s up to you to figure out.
The rest of the movie I’ll leave you to watch. The many abrupt and bizarre changes once the pair reach Greywood’s Forest caught me by surprise and kept me glued to the film. What happens is absolutely absurd and really grotesque, yet it makes perfect sense within the framework of the movie. We know from the beginning that Dom is desperate to be somebody, to make a change in his life. Well, his wish is granted. He reacts to his situation much differently than the ordinary person would, but it makes sense and it’s set up beautifully.
The movie is anchored by three performances. Josh Stifter is great as Dom, a character who is pathetic, arrogant, sympathetic and menacing in equal measure. Keith Radichel seems to be a natural born schmuck as Myles. And Daniel Degnan is just plain bizarre as Greywood.
The movie also has an inventiveness to it that surprises. Stifter uses a lot of visual tricks including split screen, found footage and dreamy black and white imagery to keep your interest, but it never seems over the top like a lot of indie horror. One of the most delightful segments is a bloody cartoon that tells the urban legend of cannibal hobos. That was very deftly done. Music is also well integrated into the movie and I guarantee you will have “Home on the Range” on the brain for a while after seeing Greywood’s Plot.
I don’t want to go overboard with praise. There’s still a palpable “indie” sheen that never really leaves the movie and if you really start thinking about what happens, the sillier it will seem. But the immediate impact as you watch it is there. Greywood’s Plot is not perfect, but it’s one of the more entertaining no-budget indie horrors I’ve seen and there’s something about its hapless heroes that rings true in the age of white noise social media blather.
Greywood’s Plot is available September 16 on digital platforms worldwide from Terror Films.
Hello, Horror Fans! I recently received a press release that began, “The long-awaited sequel to cult slasher film Don’t F*ck in The Woods comes home this October.” Further explication helped me realize that the phrase “long-awaited” implies that a person or group of people are […]
Movies & TV NewsHello, Horror Fans! I recently received a press release that began, “The long-awaited sequel to cult slasher film Don’t F*ck in The Woods comes home this October.” Further explication helped me realize that the phrase “long-awaited” implies that a person or group of people are waiting for this movie. And they’ve been waiting for…well, a long time, I guess. Not only that, but “cult slasher film” leads me to believe that these people whose patience is probably wearing extremely thin by now are in a cult. This sounds dangerous, and, really, who am I to take unnecessary risks? So here we are. We’re running the trailer for this long-awaited cult film lest we become the ire of this mysterious low-budget slasher-worshipping gang of maniacs.
Don’t F*ck in The Woods 2 depicts what happens when a group of partying camp counselors comes face to face with parasitic monsters that are attracted to sex. Uh-oh!
This follow-up to director Shawn Burkett’s 2016 hit stars Brittany Blanton, Cheyenne Gordon, Julie Anne Prescott, Kaylee Williams, Mark Justice, and Jason Crowe.
Don’t F*Ck in The Woods 2 hits Digital on October 11, 2022, with Blu-rays coming in December from Wild Eye Releasing. Watch the trailer below, Horror Fans….
